Had a great job interview on Monday. Found out today that I did not get the job. I had tried really hard not to get my hopes up about it, because frankly after looking for so long and interviewing so many times a person just sort of loses heart. Not much of a point to get yourself all excited when they offer the job to someone else.
Of course, in the back of my head (even though I told myself not to!) I had already figured out how much money I would make each month. How many bills that would pay. How I could possibly get back out on my own again with my own apartment, maybe help out my struggling children with their finances a tiny bit. Maybe even be able to not be so fucking stressed out 24/7.
I looked in the mirror today and realized I look like I have aged about 10 years in the last few weeks/months. That's what depression, anxiety, anger, insomnia and crying does for a girl. Nice.
So back to the drawing board. Make a new "to-do" list.
I have some business research I want to do. I have images that should be culled. I should just take my camera and go outside and find something to shoot.
I'm sorry Sandi. You know, maybe doors closing are pushing you in a direction you just aren't seeing yet? The whole, "when a door closes somewhere a window opens" thing? I'm sending you positive, happy vibes that you are able to make a wonderful living doing something you really love. :D
ReplyDeleteI understand. While I don't understand being jobless, I do understand the not having money, wondering how your going to pay for shit, not being able to help your struggling kids and all of the stress, depression and anxiety that comes with it. Know that you are not alone. There are so many others in your same position. Hopefully, soon, this economy will get it's shit together and things will turn around for all of us.
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