Personal responsibility and where did it go?

I realize even before I start typing this that I am going to come off as sounding like an old lady. Hopefully it won't be quite as bad as when our grandmothers said "I had to walk barefoot in the snow, uphill both ways to school when I was your age!"

Personal responsibility. It seems to have gone by the wayside with children these days. The bf has a friend from work who is always talking about how his kids won't do their homework. It's a struggle each and every day apparently. Recently HE stayed up late finishing one of the kid's projects. This makes me shake my head and get rather angry at the same time.

Students that I go to college with, young adults, constantly are asking for more time for assignments, saying that they just couldn't get it done, blah, blah. Then they complain if they aren't give more time or a high grade when they turn in something late. I have never had an assignment just given to me the day before. We usually have several weeks notice and sometimes even a semesters notice if it is a big project.

At what age does it become the child's own personal responsibility to get their stuff done and turned it? I feel that by 2nd or 3rd grade a child should KNOW that they have homework and that it should be done and turned in. Sure, parents should check with them and make sure that it is all together but it should be the kid's responsibility to actually do the work.

When I went to school and when my own children went to school a few years ago, there was one big difference than the way it is now. IF you didn't do your homework? didn't turn it in? There were consequences. That the child had to pay, not the parent.  If my kids were behind in their studies they had privileges taken away at school. The school took care of it and unless it got to a really bad place then the parents weren't even contacted. Sporting events, field trips, recesses,  any and all "fun" things were taken away if you were behind in your homework or studies. The peer pressure to be able to do all the fun stuff and go on the trips and to the sporting events kept kids in line. They did not want to be the only member of the class to stay back at the school when everyone else was having fun. Plus the fact that there was a level of respect that the kids did NOT want to disappoint their teacher. Or for that matter, their parents.

It is just so different today. Parents blame the teachers, the school, anyone but themselves or their child for the problems that little Jimmy is having at school. These kids are being set up for failure. If children are not taught that there are consequences to their actions at an early age, how are they ever supposed to know? If they are not held to higher standards and taught that personal responsibility is a good thing, how can they ever survive in the real world?

Political correctness aside..

Lets take a look at the new TLC tv show about the conjoined twins. Abby and Brittany. I cannot think of one single thing that I can say about the show that isn't going to make me look like a bitch or worse yet an uncaring individual. I did find it interesting when they explained exactly what organs they share and the ones that they each have individually. But. I am just gonna say it. It's odd. It's different. I think TLC tries new shows out just for shock value. Just to see how far they can push that shock envelope before people shut off their tv and walk away.

Speaking of which:

Don't even get me started on Honey Boo Boo child. (that sound you just heard was my head exploding).

Hindsight is always 20/20

Well it's almost midnight and I am sweating, sitting in front of the fan trying to cool off.

When I was a little girl, I would guess around 11 or so, I had an autograph book. I wanted that autograph book so bad! When I finally got it, I realized that I really didn't have any autographs to "get".  I lived out on a farm with my parents, way out in the middle of no where. Rarely did we see anyone else, except maybe a neighbor passing by on the road.
We did have an elderly lady neighbor, named Nelle,  who lived about a mile away and I would ride my bike over to see her sometimes. She was friendly and nice and she had a son who was a make up artist in Hollywood. I loved listening to her stories about her one and only child. She would show me photos that he sent her and we would watch reruns of Lassie the tv show to see where his name was on the credits. I met him once when he came home around Christmas. He brought a fruit cake and I really did not like fruit cake or want to eat any but could tell that it was important to her that I try her son's gift. I did and if I remember correctly I was polite, nibbled a bit on it and later slipped the rest of my piece into the trash.
I guess she probably enjoyed my company and I enjoyed getting away from our farm and seeing someone other than my parents.
I remember taking my autograph book to her house one afternoon and asking her to write something in it.
She laid it on the table and said she would think of something and I could come back tomorrow and get it.
So that is what I did. When I returned the next afternoon, she handed me the book and patted my hand. She said what I wrote is an important lesson for a young lady like you.
I opened the book and found the page she had written on. It said in her flowery yet shaky handwriting:

Love many,
Trust few,
but always paddle your own canoe.

I didn't know what it really meant at the time.
I understand it now, but wish I had followed that lesson sooner in my life.
When I think back on it now, she was a very wise lady.
I am glad I knew her.

I think if I ever met a little girl who had an autograph book, I would write the same thing.

Push

I look at this photo of the elephant and I can relate to it (and not because I have a big nose and dry, scaly skin. REALLY.). I can relate because the elephant is pushing, pushing, pushing to get something rolling, to move forward. 

Visions

On Sunday, something became clear to me. I have lost my vision. Not my eyesight vision, but my insight vision. The vision as to what I see in my future. It almost frightens me as  now when  I look forward and  in my mind's eye I see nothing past a couple of months. It's almost like looking at a plain white wall. What does this mean? How do I get that vision back? 

A new day

It seems really dark out this morning and it is starting to rain. What I wouldn't give for a really good thunderstorm about now.


I woke up to the sound of a siren on our street. Sirens are pretty normal around here and you can rarely go outside and not hear one. I don't like it, but that's reality in the city.

I like my coffee too sweet and really hot and this morning it turned out just right.

So in spite of the sirens, the day is starting off well.
Rain, good coffee and the knowledge that today is a new day.
Full of possibilities.
Full of being nice, and loving to others, but most of all to myself.
Full of memories of middle of the night whispers, touches and passion.
Full of love for a man that deserves so much more than what I am able to give him.

It seems ok to think of the bad days, like yesterday, in the light of morning.
I guess it is because my mental slate is clean and I can start all over again.
It's also because I am somewhat  rested. Being tired makes all transgressions seem uglier.

I am going to go make another cup of coffee and stand on the back steps and watch the rain.

*image found here.

So. I had a whole post typed out about stuff that no one really wants to read about. I erased it. You can thank me later.

We had a garage sale. A lady came by and bought this big yard swing. It's metal and has a covering, so it's not easy to move. She paid for it and said she would send her husband back the next day to pick it up. Guess what? He never came. We are wondering if she totally forgot the address? She didn't take any names or numbers, so now what? It makes me giggle just a little bit as it sounds like something I would do. Except that I am a lot tighter with my money and I would have definitely taken down the address and phone number if I paid for it!

We are rearranging the bf's house and doing some painting. I have had my nose in pinterest looking at all the paint colors and decorating ideas. So many beautiful things! So many impractical ones, too.